I want to be something good. I want to be something who knows something. I want to make things. I want to show you. I want to have things to show you.

I keep thinking about all the who-I-am-nots.

I’ve stopped asking if I deserve it cause really the voices in the back of my head all say I don’t. And I’m not asking them. I compare myself too much. I know.

I daydream all the time now. But these daydreams melt into my subconscious like memories and I can’t pick them apart at the seams because these thoughts don’t know where reality ends and my own fabricated storytelling begins. 
I want so much but I’m afraid that this l a z y touch is a curse and out of line.

As a creator, an echo creator of the Creator, my hands were designed to make and my heart was designed to love. I have too much happy and not enough places to spread it. But I don’t want to pick up another ministry or find another this or look for another that.

I don’t want to say it and not do it. I don’t know what I’m saying and not doing. I’m tired of being boxed-in.
 Who likes being given
 edges?

I don’t have answers. Maybe that’s why I like things with a little too much spice? 
I am sorry. It’s who I was; not who I am.


There are things under the surface that will come out in due time, with due explanation, with due reason.

God works overtime.

- from Todayisawindingroad.tumblr.com (paraphrased)